The Wall

Junior year

Fresh from his lies

I was still 16

A girl who lost her starry eyes

You were of age

According to the law

Signed your name on a page

That enlisted you the next fall

As you were getting ready

I was holding too tightly

I sent texting shortcuts to be coy

You said they were annoying

I haven’t used them like that since

It’s been years, over ten

Tonight, I thought about you

I’m still alone in life

I know for you that’s not true

A friend showed me your wife

Funny how you said you were gay

That you couldn’t ever love me

I question myself thinking of that day

Why couldn’t you say it was just me

I’ve been scared of love

Because of him and you

To you I wasn’t enough

So you lied, and he did too

Now it makes me mad

Because to you “gay” was an excuse

To get me to step back

Make me let go of you 

I can’t just let the past go

Be okay with that game

If you wanted to be left alone

Why couldn’t you just say?

So hey, Chris, fuck you

Because I deserved the fucking truth

Honestly, I’m actually over it

I’m writing this to break the wall

I can’t remember your last name

But I know it’s now harder to fall