Imposter

A hug and “I’m gonna miss you”
My thoughts were “yeah, right”
She’s amazing, too good to be true
I don’t know what about me she likes
Imposter, imposter you’re actually annoying
Being me is something no one is enjoying

I feel like I’m lying about me
By being how I am in life
I don’t know another way to be
But it’s an alarm flashing bright
Imposter, imposter, that’s how I feel
Every day I question if it’s even real

“You’re so hardworking”
At what answering the phones?
I’ve been told I’m a smart person
So why is my favorite thing to stay home?
Imposter, imposter it’s all a lie
Even now I’m trying to hide

“I’m so proud of you”
Words I cannot accept
I’m conditioned to say “thank you”
Even though I know I should be a reject
Imposter, imposter you lied to them all
I’m nothing great, I’m just waiting to fall

Love bombing is any kind of affection
There’s no way it could be real for me
I’m used to expecting rejection
Don’t try to say you actually care for me
Imposter, imposter my head screams it loud
I can’t let you lie to me and say you’re proud

Imposter syndrome, something so prevalent
I live everyday of my life with it
How do I accept your love and care
When I can’t hope, I don’t even dare
Imposter, it’s screaming out
Imposter, it’s wrong there’s no doubt.

I wrote this because I feel like I’ve somehow manipulated people into liking me, that I’m a liar and I’m not as nice as I seem, even if I want to be. Imposter syndrome is a very common thing, and I hate that so much.